Like most ambitious women, I spent my 20s securing scholarships to prestigious universities, climbing the corporate ladder to high-ranking positions, figuring out my finances, and moving from country to country, exploring the world. When I figured it was time to settle down in my early 30s, I found a guy, got engaged, planned a big destination wedding, and bought a joint home. Tick, tick, tick checklist – done.

Unfortunately, things weren’t good.

Beneath the glossy ‘Instagram perfect’ veneer, I felt anxious. I felt alone. I felt unsupported. And honestly, I felt scared.

I’d find myself waiting for him to show up for me, to do what I needed him to do — whether that was to commit to me more, or be there for me when I was in need. And after regular arguments that would trigger his defensiveness, I would feel invalidated, unseen, and unheard.

I began to work harder, longer hours, and lose myself in my work. He would disappear too, into sports, or his phone.

I eventually got us to try marital counseling. Yet in the counseling room, we were the perfect couple. Vulnerable and opening up. Our love seemed so strong in there, yet when we left the counselor's room, it was like nothing had happened. We would revert to our status quo.